Improve Your LISTENING Skills  

You will please people more by listening to them than talking to them.

          You cannot listen if you are talking – and if you are talking you are not learning about things that could be of vital interest or concern.

          Hearing is with the ears, but listening is with the mind.

          Learn to listen carefully. Many surveys show that leaders who listen to people are the most effective as well as the most popular.  

The five best tips to help improve your listening skills

* Prepare to listen

          If possible, find a quiet place free from distractions. Close the window. Shut the door.

          Aim to put the speaker at ease. Start with a friendly chat and try to establish a rapport.

* Give the speaker your full attention

          Turn off your cell phone or anything that may distract, such as a television set. Keep looking at the person.

          Concentrate and show you are listening by nodding and making encouraging noises.

          Listen to the tone of what is being said and look at the person’s facial expressions and body language. 

* Be patient –  don’t interrupt

          Hear the speaker out first. Don’t argue or jump to any conclusions.

          Refrain from giving your own or any controversial views.

 * Ask questions to draw the speaker out

          Encourage the speaker by asking simple open-ended questions. Try to draw the speaker out. “Why did you say that? Is that how you really feel about things?”

* Summarise, review and reflect

          From time to time try to summarise what you believe the speaker said and recall some of the speaker’s words. This will help you both remember what was said.

          A good listener is popular socially and learns a lot more than most people.

Geoffrey Moss (mossassociates.co.nz)

“When you talk, you are only repeating what you already know. But if you are listening you may learn something new.”

Source: “Persuasive Ways. ‘Tricks of the trade’ to get your ideas across”. First published by  Moss Associates Ltd., New Zealand and in Chinese by the Shanghai People’s Publishing House, the Singapore Institute of Management, Kogan Page Ltd, U.K and in Hungarian by Bagolyvar Konyvkiado.  Also published as the “Secrets of Persuasion” by Cengage Learning Asia and as an e-book and sold by Amazon.com.