Many people spend so much time online that face-to-face communication is becoming a declining skill.
To start a conversation with a person you meet for the first time it is often helpful to go through a kind of ritual.
The ritual will vary between races, ages, sexes and the status of the people involved.
A handful of tips to help you start chatting to a stranger
* Try to find a common interest topic
Find some common ground to get the person talking.
The weather, the temperature, or the environment are common starting subjects.
Where a person is from is often a good topic, or where they grew up.
“Are you a student? What are you studying?”
*Listen carefully and observe skilfully
Observe the body language and the dress of the other person.
Their clothes may tell you something about their lifestyle, or their interests and leisure activities.
Many tee-shirts and sweaters now contain messages or represent places, clubs or hobbies.
Try to show a genuine interest in what the person is doing and gain their confidence.
“I like your tee-shirt. When did you visit New York?I went there some years ago and had a great time. But it rained and we had little shelter on the sidewalks.”
“What a beautiful dog. Is he a Labradoodle? What age?”
* Try to put the person at ease
Show empathy and be friendly and natural. Smile often. Work on establishing a rapport. Once you have gained the confidence of the person you can ask more questions.
“Do you live around here?” ” Where did you grow up?” “Where did you go to school?”
Don’t be too inquisitive. Look for common ground with your questions and comments. Avoid controversial subjects and don’t ask too many personal questions.
*Don’t monopolise the conversation
Try to build on the other person’s views. Share information but don’t dominate the conversation.
*Know when and how to finish the conversation
End on a positive note. “Thank you. That was interesting. I enjoyed hearing how you gave up farming and came to the city.“
Geoffrey Moss (mossassociates.co.nz)
“You will please more people by listening to them than by talking to them.”
Source: “Time-Savers”, Moss Associates Ltd, New Zealand (www.mossassociate.co.nz) and “Time Management Secrets”, Cengage Learning Asia, Singapore; McGraw-Hill, Australia; SE-Education Public Co. Ltd. Thailand and Windows of Time, Korea. Also available as an E-book from Amazon.com.
For those in need download FREE our book “NO JOB! WHAT NOW? Available from mossassociates.co.nz
Another Handful of Tips 