Reading gives you new information; speech trains you for a job; writing teaches you accurate expression.

          Make a special effort to improve your skills – don’t take them for granted.  

          Our electronic servants are fast becoming our masters therefore it’s time to improve your verbal skills.

          Unless you take control of your time and improve your ability to communicate you will be handicapped in your career.  Face to face is still the best way to communicate.

          Communication is a complex subject and depends on many things apart from the messages you are trying to send.

          Your body language is important. The way you dress, the tone of your voice, and the way you smell are all considerations, as to whether English is your primary language.

A Handful of Tips to help you improve your listening and learning skills

* Ask questions and listen carefully

          To start a conversation look at a person – smile and start with a neutral topic such as the weather or ,“Have you lived around here for long?”, type of question.

          It’s important to ask the right open-ended question to get the conversation started.

          Seek common ground. Once you have established a rapport, the discussion will start to flow.  

* Put people at ease

          Try asking open-ended questions

          Ask’comfortable’ questions to put people at ease before you seek information.  “Have you had a good year?” “Where did you grow up?” ” Where were you schooled?”

* Ask simple questions

          It is surprising how much you can learn by asking basic questions like;  Who? What? When? Where? Why? Why not? How? and How much?

* Ask ‘suppose’ Questions

          “If you were the boss what changes would you make?”

* Try ‘probe’ questions

          Try picking up keywords from what the person said and ask for further amplification. “You said you were not happy here. Why is that?”  “Why did you ask that question?”  “You implied we could do better – how could we?”

* Put the speaker at ease         

          Give the speaker your full attention and make an effort to put them at ease.

* Show you are listening

          Look and act as if you are interested. Show you are listening by nodding if you agree.

          Make encouraging noises, “Mmm, I see what you mean.  ” I like your ideas.”

* Empathise with the speaker

          Try to put yourself in the other’s point of view. Don’t assume that they understand your point of view.

          Take care not to let your feelings distort your message – if you become emotional you will not hear properly.

          Try not to argue with the speaker.  If you put the speaker on the defensive they may ‘clam up’ or get emotional.   Avoid an argument if you want facts and useful information.

Geoffrey Moss (mossassociates.co.nz)

“Without the right question, you will never get the right answer.”

SOURCE: For more on this topic see:  “Persuasive Ways” first published by Moss Associates Ltd, New Zealand, and in Chinese by Shanghai People’s Publishing House, and “Secrets of Persuasion” by Cengage Learning Asia. (Available as an e-book from Amazon.com.) Also available as “Getting Your Ideas Across” from Kogan Page, U.K., and a  Hungarian translation published by Bagolyvar Konyvkiado, Budapest.